


What Am I Doing?

by SandyCookie



Series: FE Drabbles [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyCookie/pseuds/SandyCookie
Summary: Just going against everything you've ever believed in.
Series: FE Drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169966
Kudos: 4





	What Am I Doing?

Zihark tightens his grip on his blade. 

Right in front of him, a cat laguz charges at him, teeth bared, claws sharp. If he doesn’t take action, he’ll die. 

The laguz lunges at him, but Zihark dodges swiftly to the side, and strikes the laguz’s neck, granting a swift and mostly painless death. 

He stares at the now human-form laguz, laying dead. He stares, realizing what he had done. He realizes that what he did just now went against everything he ever fought for. Ever since he had to part with his girlfriend, his main goal in life was to open fellow beorc’s eyes. 

‘Laguz aren’t beasts, they’re people, just like us,’ he’d say. Saying such things would earn him a chase out of whatever building or in some cases, village, he was in. He never stopped sharing his sentiments, no matter how many times he’d be chased out, no matter how much gold he’d lose out on, no matter how many friends he’d lose. He would never waver and would even fight for those sentiments. Words couldn’t express how overjoyed Zihark was when he had met General Ike, or Commander Ike in this case, as he wasn’t yet made a General for the Mad King’s War. 

He fondly remembered when a Gaillan warrior named Lethe went up to him the day when he joined the anti-laguz vigilante group. It was awfully hard not to express any sort of disgust at their joy when they talk about the various ways they had killed laguz. When Lethe went up to him- despite doing so with the intention of ripping his guts out- he immediately felt relieved that he could stop working with the vigilante group. Great actually, since then he’d get a chance to slice up the members. Zihark never really got to know Lethe, or her subordinate Mordecai, but nevertheless, he enjoyed conversing with them, especially the latter. 

He remembers the rage he felt at hearing why Muarim had sword powder with him. Of course, he didn’t openly show his rage, but no matter how many times he had heard stories about nobles with the gall to treat a person as nothing more than merchandise, his ire for such people never waned down. If anything, it had only grown. 

He liked Muarim. The conversations they’d share over dinner, Muarim offering condolences for his girlfriend rather than belittle him, and the fond and proud expression on his face when he would speak of a boy named Tormod whom he’d seen in passing. Zihark had felt that he already knew the boy, but alas he never had the time to speak with him. The two would likely get along very well, especially through their desire to help people see laguz as people themselves.

‘Now’, Zihark thought, ‘What am I doing?’

_ Just going against everything you believed in. Just betraying your friends. Just fighting for the side cheering about the laguz hunt. Just fighting for a king who is hardly a prince. Just being a hypocrite. Just betraying your one and only love. _

Zihark’s grip tightens, knuckles white as the fresh Daein snow he grew up in. 

**Author's Note:**

> I really like Zihark. He's one of my favorite characters from Tellius! I remember when I played through Radiant Dawn, that I had wanted to recruit Zihark to the Greil Mercenaries so bad, but didn't because if I did do that, I'd have to suffer through more Dawn Brigade chapters WITHOUT him! I felt really bad about having him and Jill mowing down laguz during that godforsaken fog-of-war chapter. I still don't know why anybody thought that was a good idea at all. Speaking of that chapter, I was actually listening to Road of Sorrow while writing this. Ironic, but perfect to keep me in the mood. I'll probably never get Zihark to the Greil Mercenaries in any of my playthroughs because of how good he is, especially in the Hard (or what's basically Maniac mode if you wanna get real specific) playthrough I'm doing without transfer bonues. Feedback is appreciated!


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